[CyberTOPS] 'The Biggest Loser: Couples': Marathon episode OT
George Hughes
buzzmuzic at gmail.com
Wed May 6 13:56:02 CDT 2009
I did not write this article below.
I watched last night's episode of The Biggest Loser. It feels great to be
caught up. I thought it was the best episode yet. The two hours just flew
by. I really, really enjoyed it. I was hoping Tara and Helen would be in the
bottom two ONLY because I want Ron and Mike in the final three but I am okay
with the outcome. I voted for Mike. I want him to win it all even though I
love the rest and think they all deserve it. How much more weight can Tara
and Helen lose? I think this game will be Mike's for sure if he goes to the
final three. I can't wait to see the finale next week!!!!
George :)
'The Biggest Loser: Couples': Marathon episode
By Sarah Jersild <sjersild at gmail.com>
May 05, 10:30 PM
[image:
Ronaldmorelli_biggestlosercouples_240]<http://blog.zap2it.com/.a/6a00d83451b9
2469e201156f7b610d970c-popup>Everyone
faces Herculean challenges this week on "
*The Biggest Loser:
Couples*<http://tvlistings.zap2it.com/tv/the-biggest-loser-couples/EP01016642
>."
The Losers discover they have to run a marathon. The viewing audience
discovers it has to watch what felt like 26.2 hours of filler and product
shilling. Just get ON with it!
The Final Four go home, after what feels like an interminable "See how much
you changed" sequence or 12. Hey, guys, did you know that the people on this
show used to be seriously overweight, and now they're not? No, really! It's
true! And there's no way we could have known that, right? I mean, it's not
like they've broadcast every moment of this over the past 19 weeks or
anything...
*
Paging Dr. Jillian*
The trainers make "surprise" visits to their charges to see how they're
doing. Let's have a look, shall we?
Tara is anxious and confused about coming home. On the upside, she's given
her mom a new kitchen, and the fridge is full of product-placed poultry. On
the downside, she's completely nuts. Oh my god, she tells Jillian, I worked
out for six hours and then I ate some pita chips, thus destroying everything
I'd done that day! Jillian tells her to chill: You've replaced a food
addiction with exercise compulsion. Neither are terribly good for you in the
long run. Then Jillian makes Tara's head explode by telling her to kick back
and have a glass of wine every once in a while. Tara is instantly cured.
Thanks, Dr. Jillian!
Helen is similarly afflicted -- she's completely stressed out and running
around like crazy trying to impress Jillian when she arrives. But Helen
cannot hide her wounded soul from Dr. Jillian's searching eyes. I'm so
tired! Helen says. Dr. Jillian prescribes... another glass of wine. Huh. Has
Jillian opened a winery? Does she add product-placed protein powder to make
it superdrink?
But young Mike may be Dr. Jillian's toughest case. "I'm just trying to keep
my sanity," he says. "Thank God Jillian's here!" The mere fact that you
equate Jillian with sanity may mean you're too far gone, Mike. Mike tells
Jillian he's feeling crappy about his brother, Max. I wanted to help him
when I came back, but he seems so apathetic, he disgusts me! Dr. Jillian
digs deeper and gets Mike to admit that he identifies with Max. Quit it!
Decrees Dr. Jillian. OK, says Mike. She declines to prescribe life-giving
alcohol, presumably because Mike is underage.
*Bob to the rescue*
Bob "surprises" Ron at home, and spends most of his time taking Max under
his wing. That includes showing him what 600 calories of his favorite
fast-food meal looks like (not much), vs. 600 calories at this obscure
little place that the show obviously wants to keep secret since it goes out
of its way to disguise its name and eliminate all signs of it. I will
respect its wishes. You're welcome, show.
Bob also puts Max through a Ranch-style workout, which leads to Max puking
copiously on national TV. Thanks, Bob!
*
Marathon madness*
The show decrees that the Losers shalt runneth a marathon. Really? You're
giving them 26 days to prepare to run 26.2 miles? Oy.
But yeah, they all run and/or walk a marathon. Ron's knees prevent him from
running, and Mike suffered something unspecified that caused a stabbing pain
in his hip, so his doctors have banned running. There's a long, long
sequence of marathon running -- it's quite an athletic achievement, but it's
not tremendously compelling TV, you know? -- and bits about motivation and
loved ones and kicking ass and blah blah blah whatever.
Everyone finishes -- Tara comes in first (of course), with Helen following.
Mike marches in a few hours later. Ron has multiple problems -- problems
with his knees, problems with his feet, way-too-high blood pressure, poor
circulation, shaking extremities -- but he's determined to finish. He does.
All of the Losers get $10,000 to donate to the charity of their choice.
*The last weigh-in*
The Losers find out how they've done at home. Mike and Ron have each lost 10
pounds -- and they're both disappointed. Helen drops 7 pounds, which puts
her above the line. She's elated. Tara needs to have dropped 7 pounds to
stay safe. She drops 10. Helen and Tara are in the finals.
That means Team Brown is below the line together, and they plead their case
to America. Ron: Give it to Mike! He gave up his groceries! He kicks ass! He
deserves this! I beg of you, vote for my son! Mike: I've done everything I
set my mind to, I kicked ass, I'm thrilled, and it's been a privilege to be
here. Then he diverts from the script: "If you want to put me in the finale,
that's amazing. If you want to put my dad in the finale, that's great, too.
He deserves it,. I love him." Huh. He really is a giver.
So it's up to us now. Who should go to the finals? Mike obviously deserves
it, but I almost want to vote against him just to spite Ron. I know, I know,
I'm not a nice person. I'm fine with that.
*Crazy-making moments*
- Mike talks about how he used to work in this fast food restaurant
thats across the street from this gym. Both the restaurant and the gym's
signs are blurred out. Because god forbid the show acknowledge that
anything
other than it's sponsor gym and its favorite restaurant exist.
- Tara talks about how now that she's lost the weight, she can live her
life. Then she tells Jillian she's working out 6 hours a day and she
freaks
out when pita chips pass her lips. Your weight wasn't keeping you from
living, Tara -- your obsessive personality disorder was.
- Poor Max - I'm not sure that a puke-inducing workout is what he needs
to get in the habit of moving more every day. Yes, that's the norm on the
ranch, but most gyms I know of tend to frown upon upchucking in the weigh
room.
- Bob tells Ron that maybe a marathon isn't a good idea for him, what
with his joints disintegrating as we watch. Ron takes that as a challenge.
I
get that you want to push your body to its limits, but when you've got
doctors telling you that this is a bad idea, perhaps you should listen to
them. Completing a marathon is great, but not if it means you you'll have
to
get yet another knee replaced in the aftermath or if it looks like your
heart is in danger of exploding.
- When did "marathon" become the default athletic achievement for the
masses? Completing one of those puppies is a big deal, and you know what?
Not everyone SHOULD attempt it. Why does everyone have to cover 26.2 miles
to be considered tough or healthy or worthy? And does no one remember that
the first guy to run a marathon died? Im just saying
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Have a great week!
George :)
"I declare a moratorium on things relationship
I declare a respite from the toils of liaison
I do need a breather from the flavors of entanglement
I declare a full time out from all things commitment"
~Alanis Morissette
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